A long, long time ago, in my first year as a student minister at a United Church of Christ church in Cambridge, MA, I once inadvertently insulted a church member so much during a sermon that after that one particular worship service, he declared that he would never again set foot in that church. To my knowledge, he never did. It was a strange experience. I was just a student minister. Although I participated in worship every Sunday, I only preached every four to six weeks. I don’t remember what I said or did, but it was probably something political, offering a criticism of the practices or policies of the then President, George H.W. Bush.

Over the years, I’ve occasionally encountered other people like that man, people who have walked away because of something I’ve said or written. These experiences have led me to wonder about the relationship between church members and pastors. Is it a pastor’s job to support the inclinations of all church members (as if that’s even possible) or water down one’s message in order to keep feathers from being ruffled? If a church experience is only about bolstering one’s already deeply held convictions, why bother going at all? What role does a pastor’s spiritual speech have in a congregation and with congregants? How do church members understand the pastor’s “authority”? Why is it so difficult for some church members to appreciate that the pastor’s position includes speaking in ways that may make church members uncomfortable, even angry?

Some of the most memorable and meaningful conversations I’ve had over these many years of ministry have involved church members who have stormed into my office to object to a sermon, a prayer or a piece written for the church newsletter. These conversations are never easy, but I have found them to be rich and rewarding, an opportunity for a noticeable growth in faith— for both participants. I have learned a great deal from those who have met with me to unload their discontent. When they realize that I’m not interested in fighting but conversing (sometimes on multiple occasions), something mysterious opens up, allowing each of us to explore some of life’s most difficult questions as well as faith’s deep mysteries.

It’s too bad that such conversations and situations are rare. More often, when I make someone angry, they simply stop attending worship or they seethe with quiet rage. I remember one especially difficult occasion some years ago. The congregation at Old South had recently approved an “open and affirming” statement. A couple who had attended regularly and for whom I had officiated at their wedding, stopped coming to worship. When I called, they said they would welcome a visit. The conversation during that visit, though, was mainly a lot of anti-gay slogans that the husband had picked up from a co-worker who attended a decidedly not open and affirming kind of church. When I tried to suggest, gently, that maybe I was better informed on what the Bible says, and does not say, since I had attended divinity school and the co-worker had not, the “conversation,” such as it was, essentially came to an end. The husband clearly preferred the co-worker’s interpretation and opinion. It didn’t matter that I had studied the issue in a variety of ways. As a pastor, this man expected that I would support and uphold his views, that the “authority” was in the hands of parishioners (even though, in this case, the open and affirming decision was a unanimous vote of those church members who attended a particular congregational meeting on the issue).

These days, I’m increasingly concerned about what appears to be— if the studies are correct— the growing number of people who self-identify as Christian and even as evangelical, but no longer attend worship of any kind. They are not interested in anyone even remotely offering a differing point of view to their own. That’s bad enough, but many of these people, because of their attachment to the label “Christian,” are pulling God into the mix, as if they have the authority of knowing God’s desires and intentions completely— and those desires and intentions often involve a certain former president.

For those who feel they possess that kind of authority through which they know all of God’s expectations, but intentionally reject pastoral guidance precisely for the reason that they perceive pastors may assert a perspective different from their own, an especially troubling scenario begins to take shape. Living in the midst of a faith echo chamber is problematic on many levels, stifling rather than enlivening one’s faith. Practicing the faith in the midst of a pastoral relationship is important. Critical questions ought to be considered by all Christians regarding the life of faith, the interpretation and use of biblical stories and lessons, and the issue of authority. It’s not that clergy are always correct, or in a position to exact a complete and utter use of the authoritative role, but there’s a significant relationship here that deserves faithful attention.

In the United Church of Christ, those who have successfully engaged in a process to ministry, whether fully ordained or licensed, involving the local church and the local association of churches, are said to be “authorized” for ministry. That authority is a heavy one. We clergy make a lot of promises, regarding things like preaching and administering the sacraments, working cooperatively and collegially, respecting all, honoring confidences and not exploiting our position for personal gain. Again, it’s not that clergy are perfect. Far from it. But, many of us take very seriously the promises we have made and ask, in return, that our role be respected. Sometimes, we have something prophetic to say. Sometimes, our job IS to make church members feel uncomfortable. And, sometimes it is our job to engage in holy conversation when parishioners have a different point of view.

My interpretation of scripture and the lessons Jesus taught lead me to believe that one cannot claim to be a “Christian” if one does not regularly attend Christian worship and does not engage in the life of a Christian community of faith. Jesus made very clear the significance of community, the value of gathering with others (something he did even for himself) and the fact that he himself is present when two or three are gathered— and not just one. The life of faith is grace and blessing, but it is also a responsibility. As I’ve written many times, to worship God is to acknowledge that one is not God, that our awareness of God and God’s intentionsis always limited. Every Christian ought to appreciate that it is incumbent upon each one to gather in the midst of community and to recognize not the absolute, but the authoritative nature of leadership— whether in the form of a person or in the gathering of a group in worship.