Give Me a Groan!

We know that the whole creation has been groaning in labor pains until now; and not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly while we wait for adoption, the redemption of our bodies. For in hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what is seen? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

Romans 8:22-27

For this year’s Pentecost observance at Old South, we spent much less time focusing on the most common Pentecost passage—Acts 2—and more on one of the other readings from the lectionary: Romans 8:22-27.  On Pentecost, I’m usually drawn—year after year—on the dramatic passage from Acts.  The mighty wind, the tongues of fire, the various languages, the accusation of drunkenness.  There’s just so much to like, so much to consider, so much great material.

It was all so different this year.  The Acts passage didn’t resonate as it normally does.  So, I found myself floundering a bit, wondering what I was going to do.  Lots of Old South folk would be getting into the Pentecost vibe, wearing some sort of red.  What could I say, or do, that would feel inspiring and dramatic?

And, then I found it.  In his letter to the church in Rome, Paul offering just what I needed now, in 2021 Hallowell, Maine—groaning, sighing and pain. 

For this moment in which we find ourselves, in the context of the last year plus a few months, this is just the thing—acknowledging the groaning, sighing and pain that the pandemic has brought, as we have become the new thing that we are.  And, appreciating that what’s next will very likely bring its own groaning and sighing.  And pain.

At the start of the pandemic, Old South—small congregation filled mostly with post-retirement folks—was willing to try a lot of new things.  Most of them, anyway.  We moved to a mostly remote worship and then a fully remote worship.  We endeavored to make worship both new and old at the same time, with music and a participatory experience.  It helped a lot that the Music Director regularly recorded preludes and postludes from the church sanctuary.  The Music Director also gathered a group of “hymn singers” who have been recording hymns for worship, with the words added to the video. And, we brought our new knowledge to meetings and other gatherings. We also tried some new tricks for worship, like slide shows and other visual devices. We even worshiped with another congregation from time to time.

Did this transition happen with joy, excitement and enthusiasm?  With a spirit of “let’s try more new things!”? 

In a word:  no.  There was a lot of groaning and sighing.  And, the utterance of bad words.

Like lots of other good church people, we did what we had to do.  Mostly.  Some wouldn’t go along, no matter how much coaching was offered.  Others were suspicious of worshiping online, declaring that it felt an awful lot like “social media.”  For those willing to brave this new thing, there was a fair amount of what I would call a willing spirit.  Sure, let’s give this new thing a try, if it will keep us together as a community.  But, that didn’t mean that the groaning would be set aside.

There was groaning.  And sighing.  And, other expressions of frustration.  But, we managed, and came up with something that was worshipful and meaningful. We have grown, spiritually speaking, as a community of faith.

Now, we must bring our groaning, sighing spirits to what’s next.  While it may be tempting to just slide back into what we were, we know that we cannot.  We’ve left that behind. 

What’s ahead, however we are able to be a hybrid church, will very likely include a lot of groaning.  And sighing. And, the utterance of some bad words.

So, bring on the groans, and the sighs, for they are signs of the Spirit with us.

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Switches, Cameras, and Platforms, Oh My

Like many other churches, Old South has been an online church during the pandemic.  Worship, meetings and other gatherings have been almost entirely on Zoom.  And, for the most part, this approach has worked well for us.  Also like many other churches, we have come to the realization that we should not simply return to our pre-pandemic lives, now that restrictions are starting to loosen.  We have become something new already, and we ought to continue to embrace this evolution.  Discussions have focused on a hybrid approach to church, one that incorporates both in person and online components, allowing those who wish to gather in person to do so and also welcoming those who cannot join us in person.

We are not alone.  Lots and lots of churches are doing the very same thing.  And, that means that there’s lots of information, workshops and webinars, to help churches in this transition to a hybrid existence.

I have read many blogs and articles on hybrid church.  I’ve explored opportunities to engage in this work with a group, or groups.  I’ve watched a few webinars as well.

In a word, I’m feeling rather overwhelmed.

One of the biggest issues for me is that one of the first pieces of advice offered from several different sources is:  gather your tech-savvy people to help.  One webinar went even further in encouraging a group of tech-savvy people:  “the more the merrier!”

The problem for Old South is that gathering the “tech savvy” is not exactly an inspiring prospect.  There are two.  Not much of a group, and certainly not especially merry.  To complicate the situation still further, one of the two is the music director, who really cannot manage music and technology at the same time.  The other is my husband.

We face the next dimension of church with some clear challenges.  While a couple of people have indicated a willingness to learn the new technology, and that’s certainly a good thing, the path ahead feels decidedly thorny.  When talking to a small group about the work to create a new, hybrid church, one person was taken aback that we would want to maintain an online existence at all.  Why should we bother with such a thing, because, well, church should be an in-person experience and we should all be glad to cast off our virtual existence as soon as possible?

The path ahead will surely be a strange, new thing, with lots of strange, new questions:

  • What does it mean to gather as church?
  • Can we have meaningful worship with no singing, or at best, limited singing (until we get the green light for more singing)?
  • Will we be able to acknowledge and appreciate the various ways through which people feel connected to Old South?
  • Do we have the capacity to learn new things, and to embrace the winds of change that swirl around us?
  • Do we have the ability, and the desire, to learn about the technology and the equipment needed for a hybrid existence to our church life?

We’ve come a long way in our pandemic journey.  It is my hope, and my prayer, that we will embrace the knowledge that we have learned new things, and we can learn still more new things, that we can become what’s next, rather than slide into what was. We may never have a “the more the merrier” sort of tech savvy group, but a small group of willing tech novices would be pretty good.

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The Silencing

Over the many years I’ve been in parish ministry, it’s not uncommon to find myself in a particular situation that I find especially challenging:  dealing with adult children of a recently deceased church member whose spouse has already passed away or is not capable of making decisions or plans. It’s the children who are in charge.   On more occasions than I would like to count, the children of the deceased do not go to church and more than that, they exude a veiled (thinly or otherwise) hostility to Christianity.  So, what to do when the church member dies?

About a decade ago, when one of Old South’s most faithful members died suddenly, I was informed that the children did not want a service at the church.  There would be a short service at the funeral home.  I, as Old South’s pastor, could lead that service if I wished.  If not, the funeral home would find someone.  I was shocked.  I had never met any of these people, but I could not fathom how they could dismiss their parent’s close connection to Old South.  In the end, I led the service at the funeral home, but then I also organized a memorial service to take place after a regular Sunday worship service.  I informed the children and invited them, making it clear that there was just no way to not have a church service for their parent, who had rarely missed a Sunday worship service.  The children attended and were gracious about it.  The swell of condolence and heartbreak of the congregation clearly made an impact on them.

During Covid time, it feels like it’s been a lot easier for adult children who are not connected to the faith to simply ignore it or push it aside when their last parent passes away.  Several members of Old South have died during the pandemic.  Most of the families have suggested that they’ll attend to a memorial service when we can be “in person.”  One of these families is serious about that service, as the adult children involved are all church goers.  For the others, I’m not so sure. 

Recently, I was contacted about leading a service for a member of Old South who passed away.  This woman moved away some years ago to live with a family member, but the family will hold visiting hours and a short service near Hallowell, in order to be closer to the cemetery where their loved one will be laid to rest.  The funeral home called to see if I could lead the service to be held at the funeral home.  If yes, great.  If not, no big deal.  They would find someone else.  I said I would do it. I had known her. I had visited with her at her home. She had been an active member before she moved.

In the planning of the “service” that’s taking place, it’s become increasingly clear that the family mostly wants more of an emcee than a minister, someone to keep things moving.  A few members of the family will share poems or stories.  There will be a video with music.  And, a soloist.  What will I do?  I’ve been told that I may lead an opening prayer.  When I asked about reading scripture and offering a homily, I was informed that I could lead a prayer at the graveside.  If I had something personal to say, I could do that after the opening prayer.

How many times has something like this happened over the course of my career?  Too many.  And, it’s hard to know how to handle it.  I don’t want to pick a fight with the grieving, but I’m uncomfortable with the notion that I’m being silenced.  When the service is on my turf, in the church, then I do what I do, and I organize a religious service.  When it’s not on my turf, like a funeral home, it’s less clear.  On the one hand, maybe I should be grateful that I’m being asked to do less work.  On the other hand, I feel like a traitor to the faith.

What’s so wrong with recognizing the faith of the parent, even if one does not share it? What’s so problematic about incorporating something that was meaningful to the parent, even if the adult child does not understand it?

It’s often said that a funeral or memorial service is really for the survivors, for those who are grieving the loss of a loved one. But, should the service really be fashioned solely around their needs and desires, especially when they have a different relationship with the church than their parent? What about the one who has died and her/his attachment to a faith tradition that has quite a lot to say about death, grief, loss and what happens to us after we shuffle off from this mortal coil? And, what about the poor clergyperson, stuck in the middle of this delicate tension? Stay true to the faith, regardless of the family’s expressed expectations, or succumb to those expectations, and refrain from causing difficulties, discomfort, and even anger?

The situation is a challenging one, to be sure. And, one that does not lead neatly to a clear solution. I suspect I will continue to find ways of, nicely and pleasantly, incorporating as much faith language as I can into every small opportunity I am given, to lift up and convey the hope and love of the faith, and the consolation available for those willing to open their hearts. Silence is simply not an option.

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Among the Exclamation Points

Any normal Easter Sunday usually involves a fair number of exclamation points:  He is risen!  He is risen indeed!  Alleluia!  Etc.

As I prepared for Easter Sunday worship this year, it felt like the exclamation point had run amok, taking over every aspect of the holy day.  Looking for inspiration for the opening of worship, exclamation points were everywhere, sometimes at the end of every statement that was offered for a suggested Call to Worship or an Invocation/Opening Prayer. 

Easter Sunday certainly deserves an exclamation point, or two, but should every statement end with this particular punctuation mark? 

While our approach to Easter is deeply connected to the fuller and longer story of the resurrection and its aftermath, it’s a shame that we don’t devote more time, attention and reflection on the early morning stories of the first Easter.  Most Christian services, especially those that follow the lectionary, include one of the early morning stories.  Yet, there’s actually not much focus on what’s really going on in those stories that capture the mood of the first Easter morning.

I think the exclamation points may be blocking our view.

In the early morning stories, there’s fear, confusion, grief, mistaken identity and, in the case of Mark, terror.  All of these reactions could be accompanied by exclamation points, but these are not the reactions incorporated in your average Easter Sunday morning worship service.  Calls to Worship don’t usually offer things like:  I’m afraid!  I’m afraid indeed!  I’m confused!  I’m confused indeed! 

It is in the confusion, grief and fear that we could explore and reflect on how the Risen Christ comes to us now.  For congregations whose sanctuaries that are no longer full on Easter Sunday morning (whether in person or online) and where the average age is in the range of retirement, the triumphant mood conveyed by the onslaught of exclamation points impedes our ability to spend some quality time in that space where confusion, grief, fear and mistaken identity are clearly communicated in the scripture story.

For many who remain faithful to churches that were once at the center of community life but are now struggling and feeling sidelined, much could be gained by delaying the rush to exclaim our excitement and instead, allowing ourselves to express our disorientation, a theme that is a significant component of the Gospel accounts of the first Easter morning.  Many of us are feeling confused and disoriented.  We are also grieving.  And, we are certainly fearful, although many are not eager to lift up that sentiment.

Spending time in the midst of scripture that so compellingly details confusion, fear and grief would be a good process for many of us who are becoming—whether we like or not—well acquainted with these feelings.  The stories of the first Easter morning articulate a clear sense that the difficult feelings that people like Mary Magdalene experienced helped to open the way for the joyous realization of the resurrection.

We ought not, then, skip over the reality of the fear, confusion and grief, propelling ourselves into the forest of exclamation points. In the dimness of the first Easter morning, the seeds of hope, joy and new life find fertile soil. It could be fertile soil for us as well, if we endeavor to keep the deluge of noisy exclamation points at bay.

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As Holy Week Begins 2021

I have unexpectedly mixed feelings as we embark on this year’s Holy Week.  Holy Week is usually a week that I look forward to.  It’s a time to think deeply about important theological issues, and a time when there are more opportunities for what I think of as good church—gatherings of my companions in the faith, good music, meaningful connection, silence, a complicated story that offers new insight every time I read through it in the midst of community.

Last year, Holy Week was enormously different because we were not only in pandemic mode, but in more or less lockdown mode.  Everything got stripped down to the essentials.  We hadn’t quite figured out Zoom, but it felt good that we could still “gather” at all, even if it resembled the opening of The Brady Bunch. 

We are not in lockdown this year, but still in a “safer at home” situation, with face masks and physical distancing, as Covid rates stubbornly persist (and as we await a high percentage of the fully vaccinated).  Old South’s Holy Week services will be on Zoom, as they were last year, although we have now become more sophisticated with our Zoom services.  We are also engaging in more collaboration, with two services during the week held in conjunction with another local UCC church.  And, one of the big bonuses is that I’m away from home for Palm Sunday weekend, visiting a very lonely adult child whose schedule did not allow for a post-Easter visit.  With my laptop in hand, I can continue to work, and that includes the leading of the Palm Sunday service.

Still, I am unsettled.  While I am grateful for the opportunities that technology allows, it is in the midst of Holy Week when the limits of technology are laid bare.  Our Maundy Thursday service usually involves a potluck dinner.  Easter Sunday includes a larger, and louder, congregation, with lots of women wearing hats and plants adorning the chancel.  Before the pandemic, we held an Easter breakfast, with still more together time.  The loss of sharing a communal meal is a significant one.

Perhaps most of all, I miss the intimacy of observing Holy Week while in direct contact with my small congregation.  When we are in the same space, I am able to speak more directly from the pulpit, and out of the pulpit, to those who call Old South their spiritual home.  This allows a key ingredient to understanding what’s going on with individuals and the congregation as a whole.  Holy Week, in particular, is a key time in the church year to get a sense of things—how people are feeling and what they thinking in relationship to faith, what parts of the passion story are especially challenging, in what places do they perceive hope and new life.  All of these things are impossible on Zoom.

Gathering in any way is important, and so we shall.  But, as the congregation ages and shrinks, this is not a good time to be physically distanced from each other.  Mainers are not good at sharing aloud what they are deeply feeling and thinking.  I get more from body language, eye contact and the almost imperceptible facial expressions during worship or a one-on-one conversation.  The long stretch of distance is taking a toll on how I lead this group.  I feel that toll most keenly now, in this important time in the liturgical year.

In recent months, there’s been a fair amount of chatter—among groups of churches, in associations, conferences and denominations— regarding the sharing of “new life” stories and “resurrection” stories as congregations, large and small, have met the challenges of pandemic in remarkable and surprising ways.  But, I’m also interested in how we relate to, experience, and connect with the part of the story before the resurrection.  What’s happening in the dark and difficult places?  What’s going on in the challenging, uncertain and terrifying parts of the story, and how we experience and understand them one year after another?

Holy Week is not only about the joyous and wondrous message at the end of the journey.  It’s about the story as a whole, about spending time in the painful and demanding moments, the hard to comprehend moments, moments of betrayal and desertion, moments of yearning and longing, moments of feeling completely and utterly hopeless, lost and abandoned. The observance of Holy Week involves gathering, just as those early followers gathered, and not just in spirit.

We will gather in this strange time. We will engage with the old story. We will listen for something new. We will consider what it means to follow and to live a life of faith. But, something important and meaningful will be missing in the loss of the bodily component of our faith, which is so much a part of the holy story of this week.

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The Covid Year

Over the last few days, lots of people, news outlets and other organizations have been spending time in reflection mode.  It’s been a year of dealing with Covid.  A whole year.

Where were you when you heard the news that Covid-19 had been declared a pandemic and then the news that the best response was lockdown?  What did you do to do to collect groceries, paper goods and other supplies?  What changes were you required to make to adjust to the new reality? Which changes did you hate, which changes did you like and which changes did you secretly love?

Among my most prominent memories:

  • The whole family together, including adult children.  My daughter was already living at home and my son, who had thought he might try to stay at his college, came home after most of the campus cleared out.  Game nights became a fun routine.
  • The process and decision to take in a local college student from abroad, who couldn’t easily get home.  Where would we put her in our house and how long would she be with us?  Did her family know what was going on and where she would be staying?  Would she get along with our children?
  • The discussions and emails regarding church.  Before lockdown, we spent a considerable amount of time planning around how we could continue to worship on site—more cleaning, social distancing, no coffee and snacks after worship, etc.  And then after lockdown, we spent a great deal of time trying to figure out how to be church virtually.  What platform?  How?  What should it look like?  How should we deal with music?  Would anyone attend?

At the time, we all thought we were making what would amount to short-term plans.  Remember that?  We would lockdown, movements would be limited, places people normally congregate would close for a couple of weeks, or maybe a few, and we’d get through this and back to our normal lives.  It would all be over by Easter, many of Old South’s regulars declared, even when it became clear that it wouldn’t be over by Easter, or Pentecost, or summer, etc.

The last year has provided the opportunity to experience many blessings that we would not have experienced otherwise.  Before the pandemic, I know that Old South would never have considered virtual worship.  When forced, though, the congregation (most of it, anyway) not only considered online worship, but worship became a meaningful experience in new ways.  Our old dog selves learned new tricks—and some of them, we have liked.

The last year has also brought, of course, a great deal of loss.  Several church members, including Old South’s matriarch, have passed away since March of 2020.  The loss of normal grieving rituals has been extraordinarily painful and disorienting.  There’s just no way to meaningfully engage fully in grieving while physically distant from each other.

It’s been a long and challenging year.  When we are able to return to in-person worship and gatherings, will we be able to bring some of the things we’ve learned with us, or will we eagerly slip back into old patterns and routines?

My fear is that the latter will dominate.  My hope is that we’ll bring at least some of the new things we’ve learned with us, including the lesson that we actually can do unimaginable things, that we can learn new ways of being together, and perhaps most of all: we don’t need a building to be church.

Old South is a congregation that is getting older, and smaller.   And we have two buildings that are becoming—like many in the congregation—in more need of maintenance and repair.  While we yearn to gather in person without masks and distance, while we yearn to offer a comforting hug or touch (and to receive the same), while we yearn to belt out an old favorite hymn, we don’t require those aging buildings to do those things. 

Trying to figure out what’s next for Old South is going to be a complicated conversation and process.  But, our Covid time has offered gifts that we ought not simply heave to the rubbish bin of memory as soon as we can.  This past year has taught us valuable lessons about who we are and to whom we belong. Reflecting on those lessons and integrating them into how we discern the path ahead, will likely make the journey more manageable and perhaps more hopeful and encouraging.

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Please Don’t Try to Curate My Faith Experience

The word “curate” (and its relatives) seems to be everywhere.   Playlists are “curated,” as are skin care products, vacations, restaurant menus, and just about everything else.  For those of us who’ve been around for a while, “curate” (and its relatives) is usually associated with art and art museums, where collections and exhibits are “curated,” and there are “curators” on staff.   Now, the word is all over the  place, seemingly suggesting that even the most mundane aspects of our lives—like taking care of our skin—can have (and perhaps ought to have) an artistic, fashionable quality.

According to Merriam-Webster, the word “curate” means “carefully chosen and thoughtfully organized or presented.”  It fits, then, neatly with museums and museum exhibits.  And, I suppose the word could relate to things like playlists and restaurant menus, but could it be true that so many of the commonplace aspects of our lives are really so carefully chosen and thoughtfully organized?  Can we even discern the difference between those things that are carefully chosen and those elements of life that are haphazardly thrown together?

My plan is to stay away from the word, and to refrain from using it—except for this blog post, of course.  The excessive usage of the word suggests an element of organization that feels stifling, as if something that is curated also leads to a well-defined, curated experience.  Curated playlists of music are intended to set a certain mood.  Curated restaurant menus lead to particular taste sensations.  And so on.

Faith experiences, then, should not be “curated.”  It’s not that we shouldn’t be careful and thoughtful about religious practice, especially those of us who organize regular worship for our flock.  But, too much care, too much control, too much of our own brand of “thoughtfulness,” will likely interfere with the experience of faith, and interactions with the sacred.

For Christians, our faith stories are full of the surprising, unsettling, and not at all carefully organized experiences of the holy.  Can you imagine what the feeding of the five thousand might have looked like if it had been “curated”?  What about the birth stories of Jesus, or the healing story involving the group that manages to get their ailing friend through the roof of a house so that he could get close to Jesus, or the transfiguration or the resurrection?  What about the Prodigal Son, or the Samaritan Woman?

When it comes to the life of faith, please keep “curated” out of it.  And, let faith be—in all of its wonder, in all of its mystery, in all of its blessed and holy untidiness.

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Bringing Thankfulness for Today into Tomorrow

Old South held its first ever virtual annual meeting this past Sunday.  It was a nice, neat and short meeting.  As with any normal annual meeting, we voted on a slate of officers and a budget for the coming year.  In lots of ways, the meeting was, of course, not at all normal.  We didn’t enjoy a potluck lunch of soups and chilis (along with favorite dessert items) before the meeting got started.  We didn’t stand in a sort of circle to sing a prayer of thanks before sitting down for lunch.  We didn’t spend time at table, commenting on the amazing array of choices, and how we were planning to try as many as possible without bursting.  We didn’t experience that last minute scramble, to make sure everything was in place and that presenters had everything they needed before the meeting commenced.

This year, it felt like business was only a small part of our meeting.  The greater part was devoted to thankfulness.  We were thankful that we were able to gather, in our Brady Bunch existence (courtesy of Zoom), and that the majority of Old South folks were willing and have been willing to give this new virtual thing a try, and to stick with it over these many months.  We were thankful to one of our members who brought her computer to the church’s fellowship hall, to share the meeting with a couple of people who wanted to attend, but do not own computers, and another couple whose computer recently died a horrible death.

We offered gratitude for our “tech guy” who manages weekly worship services, doing his part to ensure smooth transitions from piece to piece, helping with the weekly set up and the lighting, and is available to respond to questions and issues that come across the chat box. 

There were lots of other expressions of thanksgiving as well:

  • For our long-suffering treasurer, who really doesn’t want to be treasurer anymore, but there’s no one else capable of taking the job and she is loathe to hand it over to a paid professional.
  • That we managed to get through 2020 without a financial crisis.  Owing to a PPP loan that has now been forgiven, we held onto the staff and kept them occupied, and compensated, through the entire year. 
  • For congregational leadership that has helped to keep us together in such a challenging time.
  • A music program that has made significant adjustments to our new way of being church.

It was good to take time to lift up and express our gratitude, that in the midst of a lot of uncertainty and worry, and the many challenges of the pandemic, Old South managed to get through the year without a major crisis of its own.

As we move steadily into this new year, it is clear enough that next year’s annual meeting will bring much more difficult business.  We are a small group, and getting smaller, and our buildings—now used only in a minimal way—aren’t shrinking with us, although they join us in aging and the need for more maintenance.

The choices and the decisions ahead are daunting, to be sure.  For today, the question is this: as we bask in the glory and wonder of gratitude, will be able to cling to our thankfulness as we face the future?  Will we be able not only to hold onto our gratitude, but keep it front and center as we sort through our choices and make decisions?  Will we allow the appreciation we feel today to guide how we engage with what is to come?

Will we spend just as much time next year, offering many words of gratitude, when we will very likely have difficult, and painful, decisions to make? In so many ways, this really ought not be a question, for God’s people have faced over the years, many complicated, thorny and heartbreaking moments. The important thing is always to be aware of who we are and to whom we belong. And, be thankful.

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Diverging Prayers

The lead up to the Inauguration made me edgy and unsettled.  After what had happened on January 6, I found myself wondering quite a lot about what might transpire as we approached the big day when Joe Biden and Kamala Harris would be sworn into office.

I didn’t need anything that would lead to more uneasiness.  But, then . . .

A couple of days before the Inauguration, as part of my usual morning routine of getting connected to the day—coffee, local paper, New York Times, Boston.com, Washington Post, and finally, YouTube—I noticed a video on that last site that caught my attention, “A Reporter’s Footage from Inside the Capitol Siege” from The New Yorker.

At first, I just looked at the little thumbnail box and the title, and thought about it for a moment or two.  Do I want to see this?  Do I really want to see this?  And, then:  do I want to see this now?  Answers:  No.  But, I probably should.  No.

Later in the day, still thinking about it, I went back to YouTube and clicked on that video.  I watched with a mix of horror, fascination and increasing distress.  The footage begins with the rumblings outside of the Capitol complex, then the break through the perimeter and the entry into the building, with the rioters, among other things, expressing dismay that the Senate chamber had been emptied of people, their voices dripping with violent intent. 

Then the footage focuses on the raised rostrum in the Senate chamber.  A man with a furry, horned hat, face and torso painted in red, white and blue is there, victorious at his accomplishment. A few “MAGA” hat wearing compatriots join him.  At 7:56 in the footage, one of the men wearing a MAGA hat raises his arms and yells out in a loud voice, “Jesus Christ!”  Not in a jeering way.

Instead, a sort of prayer begins, “Jesus Christ, we invoke your name.  Amen.”  And, the men (all men, young men) roar in assent, and then repeat, in loud voice, some with their hands raised, “Amen.”  And, the man with the furry, horned hat announces that they should have a prayer.  With megaphone in hand he begins his prayer, thanking the Heavenly Father, “for gracing us with this opportunity”  . . . “to stand up for our God-given unalienable rights.”  And, then continuing, “Thank you Heavenly Father for the inspiration needed to [garbled] send a message to all the [garbled], the communists and the globalists.  This is our nation, not theirs.  We will not allow America and the American ways, the United States of America, to go down.  Thank you [garbled] for filling this chamber with your white light of love, your white light of harmony.  Thank you for filling this chamber with patriots that love you and love Christ.”  And, the prayer continues, including still more references to “white light.”

The young men with him can be heard murmuring Amens along the way.  Some of their arms raised and their eyes closed.

It’s a scene that I found more than a little disturbing.  The juxtaposition of “harmony” and “peace,” with “our nation, not theirs,” the violent tone, and quite a few uses of the word “white,” made for a concoction that didn’t seem Christian to me, and definitely not prayerful.

As if I needed more reason to feel edgy and unsettled.

I remain deeply concerned about the rifts in our country, laid bare so completely in recent days.  Inauguration Day itself offered a bit of comfort when it came to prayer.  The prayers that bookmarked the swearing in ceremony of the new President and Vice President were very different than the prayer of the rioters.  The Invocation, offered by a Roman Catholic priest, spoke of a people of “many races, creeds and colors, national backgrounds, cultures and styles . . . our vision of equality, inclusion and freedom for all.”  The Invocation also called for care of the common good, with malice toward none and charity for all, that we might follow the path of love.  The Benediction, given by an African Methodist Episcopal pastor, offered a vision in which we discover ourselves through our connection to God:  “We will seek the good in and for all our neighbors.  We will love the unlovable, remove the stigma of the so-called untouchables.  We will care for our most vulnerable, our children, the elderly, the emotionally challenged, and the poor.  We will seek rehabilitation beyond correction.  We will extend opportunity to those locked out of opportunity.  We will make friends of our enemies.”

I’d like to think that the prayers of Inauguration Day are the prayers that actually reflect who we are, what we are and to whom we belong, as a people, as a country.  But, I can’t escape holding these diverging prayers together in my brain, allowing them to cast a portrait of division, distrust and alienation.

We are a divided people, with diverging views of what the United States should aspire to be.  For those of us who claim a connection to the Christian faith, we speak of God and we may employ a common language. Yet, it seems clear enough that the meaning of the words we speak is very different.  How will we proceed from here?  Will we continue on our diverging paths, moving further and further away from each other?  Or, will we find in the midst of our common language the call to humility that will begin to bend our diverging paths toward each other?

I find myself deeply unsure about what is to come, and how people of faith will be involved in the process ahead. Will we sow seeds of still more division, or will we cultivate efforts toward unity? Will we find ways to speak less in prayer, and instead to engage in better listening as we pray? And, will we find ways of putting down our own megaphones, in order that we might be open to perceiving the still, small voice of God? Sadly, I do not know.

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Let There Be Light. Please, Let There Be Light.

Living, as I do, in a nice house with large windows that offer a considerable view onto a vast open section of Great Pond (one of the Belgrade Lakes in central Maine), I have a familiar relationship with light.  Now that I’m working more at home, during this wretched pandemic, I’m even more aware of light, its presence as well as its absence.

Every fall, I notice, with a sense of dread, the slow movement of the sun, day after day, setting much further away from my line of sight.  Like lots of other people, I find the creeping shortness of the days discouraging.  On those mornings when I get up early, like I usually do on Sundays to finish up a sermon and to get myself settled for the day, I often feel edgy and disconcerted by the utter darkness.  How can it be so dark at 6:00 in the morning?

Now that we have turned that corner, and the light is becoming more apparent, and the days noticeably longer, life is looking up.  Or, is it?

Today is January 7, 2021, at 8:00 in the morning. I look out at the clear, still day outside my window, and I fervently wish that the rest of my life felt even a fraction as clear, still and light.

This is my prayer:  Please, let there be light.

Light for this country, after the violence and chaos of yesterday, as the Capitol complex was breached and rioters violently disrupted what should have been the ceremonial certification of the electoral results from the 2020 election, egged on by a callous and dangerous President.

Light for individuals, groups and communities who feel overwhelmed and unsure, in the midst of so much uncertainty and disruption.

Light for those who would just like to put their heads in the sand, thinking that wishing the problems away will amount to the problems actually going away.

Light for those on the frontlines of this long, long pandemic.  Light for those who must deal with the ravages of Covid every day.

Light for those who long to touch and to connect with loved ones who are sick and perhaps dying.

Light for leaders who must communicate a fair and effective plan for the roll-out of the vaccine, and then act.

Light for those who feel compelled to live out acts of resistance—to masks; to ordinances meant to keep communities, and the individuals who live in them, safe; to practices that will help to reduce the pressure on those who work in health care; to simple acts of community kindness.

Light for those who cocoon themselves in echo chambers, enveloping themselves in ways that provide only the information they desire, rather than information that actually informs.

Light for those whose faith has become a weapon, instead of an opportunity for grace and blessing.

Light for those who resort to name-calling, rather than call people by name.

Light for those whose faith has become tired, shriveled and burdensome.

And, in a more personal way, I pray for light for the small congregation I serve that faces big issues, as we try to figure out how we are called to be church in the midst of significant challenges, particularly in relationship to our large building that refuses to keep itself maintained.

In this season of light, may we do what we must to perceive the light, for certainly there is light.  We may need to look in a different way.  We may need to find the boldness to explore new paths of perception, new paths of awareness, new paths of engaging in what it means to be people of faith, God’s people.

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