My Business Plan

I think I might try to start a business. It’s something I’ve never done, so maybe it’s time to give it a try. I’m not sure what kind of business exactly— there are so many options— but I do know one very important thing. In whatever kind of business I decide to run, there is a sort of customer I will not welcome or accept: people with tattoos.

As a Christian, I recognize that God forbids tattoos. It says so right in the Holy Bible: “You shall not make any gashes in your flesh for the dead or tattoo any marks upon you: I am the LORD.” (Leviticus 19:28 NIV) Clear as day. Tattoos are not allowed. For God or for me.

I do not have a tattoo myself and my spouse doesn’t either. And, we have set up a sort of incentive plan to keep our (adult) children from getting tattoos. Some may claim, as one of our children does, that we are being unfair. That child doesn’t fully realize that we are endeavoring to save her eternal soul. Just wait until the afterlife. That child will thank us when she’s accepted into what is surely a tattoo-free heaven, full of good people who avoided marking up their bodies, as instructed.

Now, I realize that my business may have difficulty in getting off the ground. There are a lot of people in central Maine with tattoos. And, then there’s the whole issue of dealing with people who have tattoos that are not easily visible. Will I trust people or will I feel it necessary to arrange for a verification system? Should I put a clear sign on the door of my business, “No tattoos allowed” or should I try a more subtle approach? Or, maybe I should just put that Bible verse in a place where it can be seen. That ought to do the trick. Again, it’s clear as day.

No matter the challenges, it’s important that I protect myself and my values from coming into any contact with those who so brazenly trample on God’s clearly stated wishes for humankind. Who knows what other dangerous ideas those with tattoos may harbor or lifestyle options they may practice?

Like wearing clothing of mixed fabrics or sowing their fields (or vineyards) with two different kinds of seed or plowing with an ox and donkey together. It’s all so terrible to contemplate, but clearly a focus on tattoos is just the right place to start.

About smaxreisert

I'm a United Church of Christ pastor serving the small, faithful Old South Congregational Church, United Church of Christ, in Hallowell, Maine. I was ordained in Massachusetts in 1995, moved to Maine in 1997 and have served the Hallowell church since 2005.
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1 Response to My Business Plan

  1. Christine says:

    I love the sarcasm!

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