There’s an episode of Modern Family that involves a scene in a church, although the location really doesn’t matter. Claire, mother of three teens, is listening to her two daughters complain about various issues while they are sitting in a pew. She responds to what they are saying, “You girls are so dramatic. Do I need to call you a wambulance?” Claire’s sassy young niece, Lily, sitting in the next pew pipes up sounding like a ambulance siren with a mocking tone, “Wah wah wah wah.”

I thought of this scene when I read Alexander Lang’s essay “Why I Left the Church.” In the essay, Rev. Lang, now former pastor of a large Presbyterian church in Illinois, shared the details of his decision to not only leave that particular church, but parish ministry in general. The essay outlines a series of problems that had become too much for him, while linking most of those issues to a national trend of the “great resignation” of clergy. [The essay may be found here.]

I should start by saying that there were elements of the essay that I found compelling. I lead a much, much, much smaller congregation, with the accompanying much less stressful role in pastoral ministry, but I could empathize with a few of the issues that he raised. Ministry in a local church can be immensely challenging, from competing and unrealistic expectations to a way too long and complex job description to the low rate of compensation for a whole lot of work and a whole lot of educational preparation. While he doesn’t make this clear line of comparison, many clergy (those who have an Master of Divinity degree) complete the same amount of education as attorneys— and attorneys can expect a much higher average rate of compensation, with a more focused area of expertise.

While there were a few compelling moments, I mostly found the essay infuriating. Being a clergyperson is hard! There’s too much to do! Only half of the church’s members attend worship regularly! I thought people would welcome the changes I suggested! But they didn’t! People who attend church don’t want to be challenged! They have a “fixed mindset” while I have a much better “growth mindset”! How can they not appreciate this?!?

Really, Rev. Lang? I’m assuming that you were a member of a church before you sought ordained ministry. Did you never serve on a church committee or board?

In one section of the essay, Rev. Lang lists all of the skills that many local church pastors are expected to master— CEO, professional speaker, fundraiser, counselor, etc. And then he goes on to bemoan the low rate of compensation that accompanies these expectations/demands. He sums up the paragraph in this way: “And yet, pastors are expected to do all of these things and do them well for $55,000 a year.” As if that’s what his compensation has been! Are you not aware, Rev. Lang, that your church’s annual report, with the church budget outlining exactly how much you were compensated as recently as 2022, can easily be found on the internet? Are you trying to garner extra sympathy for a problem you didn’t actually have?

Another major complaint concerns Rev. Lang’s writing style. He switches from first person to second person with alarming frequency. Here’s an example: “You are also there for the sicknesses, tragedies and deaths. I don’t think anyone becomes a pastor not knowing this is what you are signing up for. However, the reality of what this does to you mentally and emotionally is taxing over the long haul.” It felt like Rev. Lang was not willing to commit fully to what he was writing, diminishing its impact. He also implied that he was speaking for a much broader and larger group of people, as if he’s the first clergyperson to be brave enough to tell church people what they really need to know. Is he expecting a great big thank you from all of those poor (literally and figuratively) clergy who just aren’t as courageous as he is?

Rev. Lang also fails to acknowledge an issue of considerable gravity: he has a dangerous case of white male privilege syndrome. He has come to assume that the world, and its various parts, will work for him, at least for the most part. He is educated and in possession of a professional degree. As a pastor, he worked at his craft and endeavored to strengthen his skills, to become yet more proficient. He assumed that those things would usher in a high level of respect and admiration. It sounds like he expected deference from his congregation, as many well-educated white men expect, in ministry as well as in just about every other field. Alas.

Finally, in his long “poor me/poor you” revelry, Rev. Lang misses an opportunity to consider his experience in the midst of the difficult reality that is the current state of the Church. The Church as we have known it is collapsing. The current notable trend is not just about the “great resignation.” It’s also about the great “dechurching” (see The Great DeChurching: Who’s Leaving, Why They Are Going, and What Will Bring Them Back? by Jim Davis and Michael Graham). Under the weight of the changes in our culture and society, the Church is in the midst of losing its place as part of American life. This has been going on for decades. The Church is in decline not only because of what’s going on in the rest of society, but also because of what has gone on within the Church, and its various expressions. Clergy abuse across so many denominations has eroded respect for the Church, its denominations and local churches. Church corruption, fraud, and other serious ethical lapses have left the Church maimed and enfeebled. And, then there’s the extremely unfortunate tie between evangelical Christians and a certain former President that makes all Christians look like hypocrites. Pastors, even those of us who live morally upright lives (to the best of our ability), are guilty by association.

Rev. Lang may be an intelligent, decent and compassionate person. But, without taking a good look at context, he takes an unfortunate turn in his assessment. This isn’t a simple story of a burned out clergyperson and a demanding congregation. Sure, it would be nice if those who remain connected to Christian churches would take more seriously, and purposefully, the leadership of the clergy— especially those of us who are well-educated and thoughtful! It would be good if those who attend worship on a regular basis were more open to the transformational work and Word of Christ. But, instead of pointing out all of their faults, we pastors ought to be doing more to help those in the Church recognize the profound changes in, and around, the Church, while showing them that they are appreciated and valued, by each other, by their pastor, and by the God they show up to worship.

In his closing, Rev. Lang made a point of including the count of how many people showed up for his last Sunday, in person and online. All were treated to one of the “best sermons” he’s ever preached. I really didn’t need another reminder of how much this man doesn’t seem to understand what’s actually going on or what’s important about Christian ministry in these challenging days. There’s no shame in discovering that there’s an end to one way of serving as pastor. But, there is shame in twisting one’s reasons into something that places blame solely on the flock, when it’s the shepherd who’s lost his way— probably a long time ago.